Be it sordid or sublime
You can get it any time
Just lay your money on the line
And take your choice

Be she your masseuse or your maid
So long as she is paid
She'll be happy to be laid
As with one voice

All the ladies of Phuket
After all that they can get
Call the farangs off the jet
From colder climes

So the ATM's are buzzing
As the girls all keep afussing
Over geriatrics rushing for a fix
Of viagra or cialis
Making sure that they don't miss
This chance to mix

With their zimmer frames a clattering
And the pretty girls a chattering
A-coaxing and a-flattering
As their wallets take a bahtering
The old men smile

For though walking keeps one fit
You can have too much of it
And as most of them admit
A Miss is so much better than a mile