So my girl has gone off with a farang
And the bar's falling into the klong

Well a cobra's just eaten our kitten
One gulp and it was just gone
And the dog is suspected of rabies
So I guess he won't be around long

The termites are chewing my roof top
They really are getting quite strong
Wood, asbestos or steel seems to make a nice meal
And now all their friends come along

My linguistic endevours unabated
Let me deeply insult a good friend
A mistake in my Thai got me a black eye
I'll say little and it should soon mend

The fan still sits in the corner
With the bits that fell off in the rain
If I can rake up the effort
I'll soon have it going again

The klong is patrolled by a lizard
Though I try to forget its real name
Coz it's the rudest of words in the language
Being vulgar, obscene and profane
[I once used the word and the effect was absurd
My staff left and were not seen again]

So though it's technically still the high season
I see Bangkok is deluged with rain
And the farangs for whatever reason
Aren't visiting Bangtao again

So I'll just sit in my bar in the evenings
Sipping Leo, Chang, Tiger and gin
Discussing Fourier, Flaubert and Fermat
Feeling bored? Not a bit. That's a sin