Chapter 10

The Motorbike Part II:

Following on from my previous discussion of the place of the motorbike in Thai culture then I suppose it was inevitable that I would have to buy one. Yes, of course, I have explained how dangerous a means of transport it is and yes I know I promised my children not to hire one. Well at least I've stuck to that. But I simply cannot resist the opportunity to take my part in this exciting community.

This morning my good friend Bee took me in her car on a grand tour of Phuket's new and second hand motorbike emporiums. I looked at Susukis, Yamahas and finally was persuaded by a second-hand Honda Icon.

This bike has, I think, what I need. It is automatic which means I only have to treat it like a push bike with no pedals. That is to say, it has hand operated brakes (left is back and right is front) and instead of pedalling I just wind the twist grip in my right hand to get more power. I have found out where the fuel tank is hidden but I shouldn't need it for some time since the bike does about a million kms to the gallon. It has a one hundred and ten cc engine which should give enough power to get me out of trouble and not enough to get me into it. If you see what I mean.

The first problem I had was that the shop did not have a large enough helmet for me. It is a pity that the size of one's head frequently does not reflect the effectiveness of the brain encased in it. However I left the shop with a nearly adequate helmet perched precariously on my head.

The next problem was that I couldn't get the starter to work. I suppose it was obvious really - you have to hold one of the brakes on to stop the bike flying off unintentionally.

And then - the moment of truth - the ride home to Bangtao. The first few kilometres was travelled at a speed at which it was scarcely possible to balance the bike. But, as I have noted before, I have been riding motorbikes for over fifty years so I was soon passing pedestrians and even the occasional pushbike. The road out to the Heroines memorial is wide and mostly duel carriageway (yes I know it should be spelt "dual" but somehow I can't quite persuade myself to correct it). And this was beginning to be fun.
I overtook my first car - it had slowed down to turn left but still this was progress. Then in a series of bold moves I overtook several women on motorbikes and a tuk tuk. At a traffic light I even filtered up the inside of a bus, with all the other bikes, and roared away from it as the lights changed.

Turning left at the memorial I gunned it. Well actually at about eighty kph I decided that enough was enough, particularly as my helmet was trying to blow itself off the back of my head.

Well, anyway, I have now succeeded in making several right turns without being run down by pursuing traffic, have managed to not fall off when negotiating potholes and have arrived safe and sound at my apartment in Bangtao.

I will not ride my "Icon" tonight, as I think that would be tempting providence, but tomorrow I'll try getting some experience on quieter roads and if possible try to see if some shop somewhere has a larger helmet.

I have just re-read my first article on this subject and am hoping that my inbred natural cowardice and fear of being hurt will prevent me from doing myself too much injury.

I am in the much the same position as a good friend of mine who has had two significant gliding accidents. He said that before each of them he had that awful "deja vu" feeling of imminent disaster . "Ha!" I said, "then why did you not stop". "Well" he said "I always have that feeling before starting a flight". Hmmm!