Chapter 18

“Up to You”:

A subject I have visited before. I was discussing this topic this morning with some new farang arrivals and a young local girl.

The principle is simple. If you ask a Thai person what they would like to do then the reply is inevitably “It’s up to you” or since most parts of the verb ’to be’ are ignored then “up to you”.

This is very frustrating if you are with someone who is not a stranger to the area and could far better judge what is worth doing here.

The reasoning behind it all of course is ’face’ . It would be rude and presumptuous to assume that anyone else would wish to do what I want so since everybody is in the same situation often absolutely nothing happens since a choice cannot be made.

I am told that Thais are usually perfectly happy with this.

We were all of course delightedly amused by the illogicality of this. “How does anything ever get done?”

Of course we merely follow the strongest willed and resent it anyway.

The young local lady laughed with us and did not attempt to defend her corner. I thought “here is a bright girl, clearly she understands the oddities of her culture and is quite able to cope with our more logical western approach to life.”

I also felt rather embarrassed that I had, in effect, mocked her culture in front of her. This was very bad mannered of me and with hindsight I regretted it.

There was however a gleam in her eye which I could not interpret.

A while later I offered to run her home. She had told me that she lived locally but that she had no transport available.

So the knight in shining armour donned his visor - sorry helmet - bowed low and setting the lady on the back seat of his trusty steed - er motorbike, set off up the road to the T- junction where he stopped.

“Which way?” he asked.

แลัวแต่คุณ “laeo dtae khun” she replied. ”Up to you!”