Chapter 23

Leam Singh, Knees and Richard Dawkins:

Two beaches along from where I am staying is my favorite swimming and snorkelling spot. It is called Leam Singh and is only five minutes away on my trusty motorbike. One parks by the side of the main Surin to Kamala road, pays twenty baht and descends the winding rustic stepped path to the beach.

When I was young descending steps was pure pleasure. Gravity was my friend. The moaning occurred when ascending heights when the work involved in lifting ones body weight was just hard work.
Now I am not young the converse is true. Climbing steps is just a matter of keeping fit and indeed climbing steps keeps one fit.

The problem is in the descent.

If one takes a religious view of life then I would have to say that knees are not one of God’s better inventions. They have a useful life expectancy of something like twenty to thirty years less than most other body parts. In particular my knees ceased operating smoothly about five years ago.
After forty consecutive seasons of skiing they just refused to cooperate. At the end of a traverse my brain would say “turn” but my knees would reply “no way - that’s gonna hurt far too much.” This put my skiing right back to the beginners category where every turn was accomplished by falling over and turning my skis whilst on the ground before getting up and continuing.

Of course, from a Darwinian point of view my knees are just pointing out that my life has already served its purpose. My selfish genes have ensured their continued existence by producing five duplicates who are now engaged in furthering my particular genome.

Well that might be good enough for Richard Dawkins but it simply isn’t good enough for me. From a purely selfish me point of view I want my knees to keep pace with the rest of my admittedly aging body. I can indulge in, more or less, all the activities that I did when I was young except when my knees complain.

A couple of years ago when my right knee was just getting ridiculous I went to see a specialist who I was sure would suggest an arthroscopy or something so that my knee would be back to normal.
“Basically its worn out” he said.
“Its due to your bow legs. The extra pressure on the inside of the joint has worn away the cartilage.”
I didn’t much like his comment about my bow legs.

It reminded me of the time when I had just delivered the perfect ten pin bowling ball, when I was at college.
“The good thing about Reb is you don’t have to wait for him to get out of the way before you can see how many pins he’s knocked over” said an ex-good friend.

“So what can you do about it “ I asked.
“Nothing” was the reply.
“Come back in a few years when its getting really bad and we’ll put a new knee joint in.”

A few years later I still persist with the original. It hurts if I use it much but I don’t like losing bits of me. I’m the only me I’ve got.

So down the steps I go, carefully and slowly, using the rustic handrail for support , as gravity jars my knees.

The view as one descends is marvellous. The steps descend a heavily wooded slope and gradually the beach appears through the trees. Complete with glimpses of golden sand, blue-green sea, scattered rocks, blue parasols and the leaf thatched roofs of the beach restaurants. It is truly delightful.

Once on the beach I head straight for the sea with my snorkelling gear. The whole beach is probably only about three hundred metres in length but at its extreme southerly end the rocks are more numerous and the fish spectacular. The colours and shapes never cease to enchant me. There is some coral here which, if I hadn’t been to The Great Barrier Reef last year I would have thought were spectacular. As it is they are delightful.

After a half hour or so of resting my knees in the beautiful warm ocean I usually stop for a bite to eat. I have a choice here. Either I eat European or I gamble on my Thai skills and usually end up with kao pat gai, which is chicken and rice and very nice too. Washed down with a Chang or Tiger or Singh beer this is about as good as life gets.

So its time for a rest, another snorkel and then back up the path. Yes I do get out of breath on the way up but every day it gets easier.

That’s so long as I don’t drink more than one beer!