Chapter 24

The Sweeter Grows the Berry:

In nineteen fifty five I remember seeing a really good comedy/romantic Western film. It starred Robert Taylor as the memorably named Bushrod Gentry and Eleanor Parker as the not so memorably named heroine.
It is the story of our hero being shot-gunned into a wedding with the heroine and eventually, somewhat later, falling in love with her. I can even remember that I saw it while on holiday with two school friends at a cinema in Matlock, Derbyshire.

What also stuck in my mind was the words to the theme song.

“The higher up the berry tree the sweeter grows the berry The more you hug and kiss a gal the more she’ll want to marry.”

I am reminded of this, here in Bangtao by a lapse of my sensibility for which I have no excuse.

I am cognisant of the local customs enough to know that money and love here in Thailand, are not mutually exclusive. If one gives a girl a gift then her attitude will probably be either “here is a source of money, lets go for it” or “this man cares about me so I will care for him” or possibly a combination of both. The power of the second attitude had, I must confess, eluded me.

As noted in an earlier article, I gave Nyte a bracelet as an apology for being unintentionally rude to her.

On several occasions after this she stayed at my place overnight.

Now the other aspect of Thai culture which can be confusing is this. A girl might sleep with you for money but even so it is strongly in the system that sleeping with someone is a strong suggestion of a more important relationship.

I, being a sometimes rather stupid person, had rather compounded this by refusing to give her money for sleeping with me. I just gave her money when I felt like it, as I said to her, “because I like you.”
This, certainly, confused her and I thought what a clever man I was to break this link. I had not thought of the, with hindsight, obvious conclusion that she would draw.

The other night I arrived at the Yellow Bar and had a few drinks. Nyte said to me “I want to come and live with you.”

Now I like Nyte, I respect her and would like to remain good friends with her. But I do not think I would want to live with her. We don’t know each other, we probably have very little in common and it had not occurred to me as, in any way, a sensible option.

I backed off and said that I was sorry but I wouldn't sleep with her again. Too late, I guess, to prevent her being really upset. From her point of view, what she wanted was a rational follow on to what had happened so far. She is now convinced that I must be sleeping with someone else. I am not.

All I can say is that I am deeply sorry to have upset a lady for whom I have the greatest respect. I hope that I will be less arrogant in the future.