Chapter 38

How to be Happy:

About twenty years ago my new wife invited a couple of her friends to stay for a week or so. I had only met them once and they had never visited England before.
It did not go all that well. Whilst the man appeared to be behaving in a dignified and sensible manner the lady, his wife, seemed to be totally out of control. I decided I didn’t like her. She was just completely impossible. She disputed everything, particularly anything her husband contributed. He suggested we visited St Albans - she didn’t want to go. A visit to Bath - no - Stonehenge, Whipsnade zoo etc. etc. -- no, no, no etc. etc. -- you get the message.

Well we eventually visited these places but the tensions were palpable.
I was very glad when the visit was over and with luck I would never have to meet her again.

I visited Prague last year and had a really great time gossiping with my excellent friend - yes you’ve guessed it - the lady referred to above. We get on really well, she is tremendous fun to be with and I am delighted to have her as a close friend.
So what has happened? What has changed?
Why is she now such a pleasure to be with.

It is very simple. She is happy.

When I met her all those years ago she was married to a really decent guy - but she was not content.
Now she is married to another man with whom she is content.

When one observes such phenomena it almost makes one believe that one has discovered the meaning of life.
I think she has anyway.

Here in Bangtao I have written quite a lot about my friend May. My frustrating friend May.
Alas I fear, my unhappy friend May.

I have struggled hard to understand May but my efforts always end in confusion.
I have not been able to understand May and this has been very upsetting.

There is something about May which I find compellingly attractive. It is as though there is in her a deeply spiritual light but it is a light which she assiduously hides from the outside world.
Why does she do this when she has such a gift with which to enhance her and her friends environment?
As it is she just frustrates her friends by being perhaps the worst communicator in the known universe.

I think I have just stumbled across the reason for this. It is because she is unhappy.

She told me some time ago that she had a love affair which was nearly perfect - she met the only man who has ever understood her. But for reasons of religion the relationship failed. She has surely not recovered from this.

Now an unhappy May takes me back twenty years to not coping with another very unhappy lady. |
The symptoms are more or less identical.
This gives me hope for her.
I think that one day she will meet a man who will rekindle that fire without which we are all lesser mortals.

I really hope so because that will make her world, and indeed the world around her a much happier place.

I look forward to it.