Chapter 47

The Night Has A Thousand Eyes:

There are times when I catch myself out not being the person I would wish to be. Such moments can be, I suppose instructive, but in general just depress me. Such a time happened, or should I say, culminated in an outburst of bad temper by me this evening of which I am ashamed.

Several of my earlier stories have involved a delightful lady called khun Nite. She like many other ladies here in Bangtao is trying to make a living. I spent some time with her before realising that I wasn‘t really looking for a long term relationship. The separation was painful and I still regret that I hurt her.

Now a couple of months ago I bumped into her again (not suprising since Bangtao is a small community). She had acquired herself a man friend from Australia and was opening a new bar, clearly sponsored by her farang friend. In general, up until a few days ago I have kept well away from her as I have had no wish to prejudice her relationship. However I got a phone call from her the other evening, just after I‘d gone to bed actually, suggesting I came down to the bar since she needed somebody to buy her a drink and wanted to dance.

I was at her bar five minutes later.

It transpired that she was no longer attached to her Australian friend, although he was still the owner of the bar. I suggested to her that this situation would not last much longer, if I am any judge of Thai/farang relationships. He is apparently in Australia. I suggested that she should probably be making alternative arrangements.

A year or so ago I had suggested that she learn massage. It seems to me that it is a skill which will always be appreciated.

We have a mutual friend, khun Deng who has just opened a massage parlour right next to Nite’s bar. I have negotiated with her to teach Nite the art and science of massage. I have given her, and Nite a small sum of money to subsidise this training with the promise that if Nite has learned the skills when I come back from England in a few months time I will give them some more money - the amount depending on how her skills have progressed. I really wish her luck.

This evening having spent the day wrestling with the Thai language and some intractable computer programming problems I headed down to Nite’s bar. It was a quiet night, it is now low season and four of us, Nite, Deng, Oy and me sat drinking beer and discussing life, the Universe etc. etc. Sometime approaching midnight a couple of lost looking Frenchmen wandered up. They had just arrived from Paris and were clearly looking for company. Within about ten minutes one of them was next door at Deng‘s massage parlour. And the other one, a decent enough middle aged married bloke, was cosying up to Nite.

I suddenly realised that I was really not happy about this. Of course it was none of my damned business. But that did not stop me being very angry. I stood up, paid my bill, told Nite that she could f--- off and that I might see her in four months time.

“What about tomorrow” she said.

“I doubt it” I replied.

I leapt onto my motorbike and roared off into the darkness. The wheelie was probably conspicuous by it's absence, after all it is only a 110cc scooter. Ah me! the grand gestures aren't what they used to be when I was young.

As I got home I sent her a text message which basically said:

“If you don’t understand why I am angry then you are very stupid. Enjoy your Frenchman. Goodnight.”

Hmmm! Not one of my more noble moments.

“So what the heck caused that” you might exclaim .

Well in simple terms I just didn’t want some completely irrelevant stranger sleeping with Nite.

“So what’s that got to do with you?” you might then well ask.

Yes, yes, yes of course I know the score. I’m not totally stupid. I know how girls make their livings and yet…..

I just don’t have a satisfactory answer which is why I am sitting here in bed writing this at three o’clock in the morning. It is marginally better than lying wide awake staring at the ceiling.

I suppose that I am forced to concede that I would rather she was with me.

Oh dear there are times when I am not only less than rational but also considerably less than fair.