Chapter 78

Living with Psychopathology:

Many years ago I had a close relationship with a lady which has caused me grief ever since.
The major problem was that it took me too long to realize what was wrong, and by then the damage was done.
Some years later a social scientist who also knew her pointed out to me that once one realized that she was a psychopath then her behavior became totally understandable.
So what is a psychopath and what is psychopathic behaviour?

Easy Guide to Psychopathic Behaviour

If I touch you - you feel it - and I know you feel it
If I hurt you (punch you) - you are hurt by it - I know you would be hurt by it so I don't do it
In fact brain scan tests show that:
When somebody sees somebody else getting hurt then the same parts of their brain as in the hurt person light up

It's called EMPATHY - the feeling for other people's feelings

WE all have it - except for Psychopaths - they do not

In the above test the psychopath's brain does not respond in this way - there is nothing

For them other people only exist to satisfy the needs and desires of the psychopath him/herself
So this means they can do what they like to hurt or abuse other people because, to them, they are of no importance

This is deeply sad, but normal people need protection from these individuals.

The following is a list of items based on the research of Robert Hare, Ph.D. which is derived from the "The Hare Psychopathy Checklist-Revised, .1991, Toronto: Multi-Health Systems."

These are the most highly researched and recognized characteristics of psychopathic personality and behavior.

glibness/superficial charm
grandiose sense of self worth
need for stimulation/prone to boredom
pathological lying
conning/manipulative
lack of remorse or guilt
shallow emotional response
callous/lack of empathy
parasitic lifestyle
poor behavioral controls
promiscuous sexual behavior
early behavioral problems
lack of realistic long term goals
impulsivity
irresponsibility
failure to accept responsibility for their own actions
many short term relationships
juvenile delinquency
revocation of conditional release
criminal versatility

The lady in question matched all but one of these characteristics and I'm not sure about that one because I don't know what it means.

If I had been even half aware of what was going on I would have headed in the opposite direction at great speed.

I think it is worthwhile to illustrate the type of behaviour with two examples of her actions which show, only too clearly, what one is dealing with:

1) The Model Scam

Miss D (as we shall call her) and her boyfriend would rent a room in a hotel for the weekend in a different town every week.
They advertised in the local paper "Models wanted for Model Agency."
The girls who turned up were always told that they had "good modelling potential" and that their photographs and details would be published in the house magazine which would be sent to all the best Model Agencies.
OK?
No because in fact the magazine was only circulated to the girls themselves.
Now that is a SCAM!
On average Miss D made about £1000 a week at a time when I was earning about £2000 a year.

2)The Financial Consultancy Scam

Miss D set herself up as a Financial Consultant although she has no qualifications.
She persuaded clients to part with large sums of money because she told them (psychopaths are very persuasive) that she could double their money in 6 months.
They all lost all their money. In all about £8,000,000.
Her victims were very angry - she was driven off the road by one of them
Another smashed down her front door and she was only saved from injury, or worse, by the arrival of the police.
She is now hiding in a small town in Southern England.

So ok what am I doing writing about these past events?

My patient readers will, I think, identify the pattern. Yes it's deja vue time again.

Recently I have had the misfortune to run into a similar character who has all the characteristrics which I have regrettably become familiar with.
He is a local ex-pat who exhibits just about all of the classical psychopathic attributes which are so disruptive of society.
The classical charm he has in abundance, which can be turned on with alarming alacrity when he wants something. However I would first like to give as an example of his empathetic lack a story which evolved in my bar a few months ago.
The person in question, shall we call him Mr P, was challenged by a fellow habituee.
"Didn't your company go broke and everybody lose their money?" was the question.
After a short pause the reply was as follows:
"No you've got that completely wrong. We did not go broke -we sold to another company- and nobody lost any money............except the clients".

I was so amazed that I wasn't capable of asking the relevant question- "So don't the clients matter?"
It was at that moment that I realised that we were dealing with a man for whom empathy was at a low priority.

Subsequently I looked up the company records and followed the blogs created by dissatisfied clients.
It was a sorry story as time-share stories often are.
A saga of disappointed clients, many of whom had received nothing for their considerable investments.
It was the story of overselling which made time-shares bad news in Europe and indeed illegal in many countries.
Selling a particular week's use of a property to more than one client is profitable but downright immoral and now in most countries illegal.
Here in the land of smiles it still goes on, making easy profits for charletans and also creating a lot of disgruntled clients.
Well I guess if you don't care about the clients - you have no empathy with them- then it must seem like a good idea.

Now the essence of salesmanship is charm. This is something that psychopaths have in abundance. They make good salesmen - at a superficial level.
Which is the required level if one doesn't give a damn about other people.

In fact this case turned out to be rather worse than that.

A common factor in the time-share world is the ability to swap your week/fortnight for accomodation elsewhere, owned by another company.
Clients who tried to do this were unable to since the company had not paid over the appropriate part of their takings to the other companies.
So the clients were caught in two ways - overbooking of the original accomodation and a complete no go on the advertised other options.
It's what I would call a scam. If anybody has a better name for it I'd like to hear it.

So why do I care about this - I'm not stupid enough to get caught in this.

Well there are two reasons: The first is that I empathise with those clients who have been seduced by the sales spiel and lost a lot of money.

The second is that Mr P is currently engaged in a relationship with somebody who I care about.
If I suggested to her that he is bad news and that he fucks people either literally or metaphorically I guess she would think that I'm just jealous.
Well she's partly right, I am, but that is not the point.
The point is that she can never achieve a meaningful relationship with somebody of such shallow emotional depth and will be doomed to a distressful aftermath.
And don't try telling me I don't know what I am talking about.

I do......................... I've been there.